I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
