They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
