I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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