just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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