found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
