he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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