What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
