We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
