You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
