I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
