singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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