You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
