well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
