You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize