I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
