wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Oh god it's open bar.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
