You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Houston, we have a squirter
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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