im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Bring me that man meat
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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