I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
