I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she smelled like a LAN party
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
