It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
