You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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