how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just had sex on a roof
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
