before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
