If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize