well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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