And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Ladies don't puke and tell
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
