If i come over, it means nothing
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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