There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
