Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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