Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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