I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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