Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
