He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize