Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
