just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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