I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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