Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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