Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
