What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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