I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
