My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
