My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
