Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
