i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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