I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize