You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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