Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
where are my eyebrows?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
