How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
