Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
