I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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