First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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