Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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