yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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