like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
