You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
