Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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