I think I just saw someone hide a body.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
